You could be the one I'll always love
by yearofdelena
Summary: Elena Gilbert lost every memory she had of her former life. Her fearful car accident spared her life but not the memories of her family, and loving husband Stefan Salvatore. Elena is tired of everyone telling her who she is. She runs away to Georgia and meets Damon. Her heart is instantly caught by his understanding of what she wants. Is he Elena's chance on starting over?
1. Lost memories

_October 15th, 2011 _

_Mystic Falls Hospital _

_11:24 P.M. _

* * *

Screaming.

Crying.

More crying and screaming.

That's all I heard around me.

The doctors and nurses screamed loudly, huddling around my body saying things I didn't understand. The only thing I did understand is that my leg was bleeding insanely and twisted in a weird way. At least that's what I caught from their discussion.

I couldn't feel anything at all, but when I opened my eyes and the burning light peered through my eyes, I wanted to scream.

The blood was dripping and soaking the gurney I was in. They coated it in cloth to stop the bleeding.

I was groggy and my head was spinning, my body hurt and i couldn't even move. My mind was spinning and thundering with pain.

But i dozed off to what happened to me? Where was I? And what's my name?

I tried to think of some sort of information on my identity. But nothing came through, and thats when i became scared.

The doctors were just about to pull me into the emergency surgery room, when someone yanked my gurney back, making me cry in pain.

The doctors yelled fiercely but I didn't pay much attention since my leg was drowning in pain and oozing blood.

I looked up to see a man with blood shot eyes, his hair was fair and he had dark eyes. He was handsome. It was sad that he looked so stressed out about something.

"Elena! Let me see Elena! Please! I'm her husband!" He screamed pushing through the security guards. The nurses laid me back down on the gurney and rushed me into the surgery room, the last thing I heard was "Elena!"

And something odd came into my mind.

_ I recognized that name._

_The world was dark. I roamed throughout the streets all alone. I knew no one and I didn't even know who I was. The silent noise of the wind blowing through my hair. _

_This weird feeling inside me got me to look behind me for some odd reason._

_ Behind me was empty roads and the silents cry of loneliness blowing through. _

_And I felt lonely, unwanted, and not me. _

_I felt that people wanted me to be perfect, but i was me. I couldn't be the person people wanted me to be._

_I could only be who I am now. _

_But other than that, Something was missing. I wasn't normal. This wasn't me. Though, i'm not really who _me _was. _

I opened my eyes to the blinding light in my hospital room made my head thump with pain. I shifted a little with my eyes shut close. The pain in my leg was there but only slightly with the pain medicine they gave me.

My head wasn't dizzy anymore but my eyes strained to open fully. There wasn't any noise but the beeping of the machine next to me.

I looked beside me to see the man with the fair hair, curled up in a nearby chair, softly snoring.

He seemed familiar but i didn't know from where.

I sat up in my bed, shuffling my hair hoping it relieved the pain in my head. It didn't.

The man shook his head awake with relief written across his face. He stood up from the chair and inched closer to me with his arms spread out in embrace.

He hugged me, his arms fully covered around me.

I didn't even know what to say. My mind was blank. This man knew me. But i didn't know him.

_What the hell?_

His hair tickled my cheek as he nuzzled his head into my neck. I started to pull away, feeling uncomfortable by his presence.

"Alright buddy, that's enough." I protested. His eyes were filled with confusion as he looked at me. His green eyes seemed to pierce my brown ones.

"Lena? What's wrong?" He asked his brows furrowed in confusion.

I shook my head as the name struck something in me.

"Who's 'Lena?" I asked stricken by the weird feeling in my body.

He stood up, his eyes scrunched up. His roughly ran his hands through his hair and it was then i saw the wedding ring on his hand.

I looked down at my own hands but no wedding ring showed.

I understood who he was to me. But i had no clue who he was. I was nervous, my heart was speeding up as i see him silently cry with tears spilling down his cheeks.

My mouth opened but i said nothing as he paced back and forth in front of me.

"The doctor said it was possible but I doubted him." He turned back to look at me, his cheeks were red and eyes blood shot. He stretched his arm to emphasize me on the bed. "He was right."

Just as I was about to speak, the doctor walked in with a clip board and instantly knew what was going on by the look on her face. She wore a name tag that said, 'Dr. Fell'.

"Mr. Salvatore, I specifically told you not to speak to her until I came in." Dr. Fells spoke clearly, taking a side look at me. The man stopped pacing, staring straight at Fell.

"I thought she'd be fine! I thought she'd remember!" He yelled angrily, his hands fisted and knuckles white.

"Please calm down, Stefan." Fell said calmly. I watched as 'Stefan' took a heavy breath before releasing his fists.

"No, I won't! I can't!" He cried out clenching again with more silent tears flowing. I felt the urge to call him out in hopes of getting him to calm down.

It was obvious I was an important person to him.

"Stefan!" I called out from my bed. His attention was completely on me. I saw his eyes soften and his complete demeanor changed.

He inched towards me and instead of backing away, I sat in place. His hand reached down to touch mine.

I gasped as his hand rubbed small circles onto the back of my hand. A flash of someone calling out my name.

_Elena Gilbert. _

"Get out. Now!" Fell exclaimed with anger. Stefan turned his head back to Fell with hope.

"But-" He stuttered as he continued holding my hand. I didn't let go. I wanted to know more.

When he touched me, i heard a familiar voice call out my name. It was male, and rough toned.

I was still in complete and utter shock at the way he brought that single memory of who I was. But as I continued to brace for more memory...nothing happened and all the hope faded away.

"I said now, Salvatore!" Fell yelled once more, slamming her clip board on a table beside my bed.

Stefan frowned as he slowly pulled his hand away from me. Desperation filled within me as he walked away.

"I'm so sorry about that." Fell said softly, picking the clip board up and flipping through the pages. I nervously wringed my fingers as she hummed.

"Okay. I know you have amnesia. I'm not sure when it'll return, but you won't forget everything forever." She smiled sympatheticly.

"Um, what's my name?" I asked nervously, while shuffling my hair.

"Elena Salvatore. But your maiden name is Gilbert. You can call yourself with whicever name you like." She smiled again.

I sighed relaxing back into my bed and wincing at the sudden pain rising in my leg again. Fell walked over, pulling the blanket back and examining my bound up leg.

"What happened to me?" I asked trying so hard to get hint from my blockened memory. Fell pressed her lips together in a white line.

"You were in a horrific car accident Elena. You broke your leg and got a few bruises, it was a miracle you made it out alive."

Fell walked over to my IV system and checked a few things on my monitor.

"Was i supposed to die?" I whimpered, staring down at the bruises on my body.

"There was a pipe in the car that was angled to go straight through you, but something in the crash got it to just scratch your side." She whispered lowly, as if she was afraid.

"Oh..." I answered, i realized that she could've known menasmwell. Anyone can know me and I wouldn't even know. "Did I know you?"

"I'm your friend, we were close but I'm glad to see you're okay." She smiled softly.

I nodded in response as she checked up on my leg and my heat beat.

"Some people are here to see you, Elena." Fell said whispered, nodding to the door. "You don't have to let them in, if that's too much for you."

I shook my head, wondering who was waiting on the other side.

"Is my family here?" I asked feeling awkward at the word. I didn't know what it symbolized.

"Yes. Do you want to see them first?" Fell asked me with wondering eyes.

I nodded swallowing the lump in my throat. She walked away from me to the door, opening it wide enough for me to see a boy on the other side with swollen eyes and cheeks red and dry from tears.

As she shut the door, the boy peered through to see me, his eyes lit up but the confusion on my face gave away the fact that i had no idea who he was. And my heart broke.

* * *

I exited myself from Elena's room, only to face the trembling friends and family waiting for her.

"Is it true? Does she not know who we are?" Jeremy Gilbert trembled as he peered through the door as i shut it close.

"She has amnesia. Not one memory of her life is in her mind. I don't know when it could come back, it could take months. Maybe even years." I whispered, hoping they didn't hear the last part.

"This is all your damn fault, Matt fucking Donovan!" Jeremy yelled turning to Matt punching and kicking towards him. Matt took the blows consciously.

The news struck the entire family of Elena Gilbert. No one really knew what got her in the accident, but it was rumored Matt Donovan left her drunk to drive home herself.

No one really knew what to do when they heard what happened. Stefan called Elena from his work trip in New York, she managed to answer and mumbled a few words before blacking out.

Tyler Lockwood took hold of Jeremy's body and held him back. Everyone seemed tired but managed to stay awake with the adrenaline in their veins.

"Please calm down." I said hoping it made a difference with everyone. "Elena would like to see her family."

Caroline Forbes walked through the crowd with the same sad look in her eye as everyone else.

"When can she see us?" She whimpered wiping the smeared mascara from under her eyes.

My eyes looked around the group of people who were upset and quiet. Bonnie Bennet held Jeremy's hand tight. Klaus was looking down while Rebekah stood not too far with tear filled eyes.

Elena was loved by many. You could say she was perfect. She had a loving husband, a huge house, riches. Happiness. Everything was perfect. But everyone knew reality was too cruel to let that happen.

Elena tried to have a baby with Stefan but had a miscarriage three months in. It could've been her point of depression.

It could've been the cause of her emotional distress in the crash.

"When she feels comfortable. We don't want her mind to be pressed with so many people." I said taking in a breath for the next thing i was about to say. "She doesn't know who we are. She's missing all the memories with all of us. She doesn't even know who she is."

* * *

I opened my eyes as the door creaked open again. Fell walked through with three calm looking people behind her. The boy with the tear streaked cheeks seemed calm but was fiercely biting his lip.

A woman with gorgeous green eyes and red hair walked through with a man holding her hand. He was handsome and hair a fair mustache and beard.

Fell looked at them with suspicion. She left me with the three people, who obviously knew me but I had no damn clue who they were.

"Elena?" The boy questioned stepping forward but the woman with red hair stopped him. I lifted myself from the bed signaling it was okay. The red haired woman let go.

"I'm Jeremy Gilbert, your brother." He whispered looking into my eyes looking for some sort of recognition in them, but he failed.

"I'm your Aunt Jenna." The woman with red hair blurted.

"I'm Alaric, Aunt Jenna's boyfriend." The man said with his lips pressed together. I smiled sweetly by the humorous tone in his voice.

Jenna elbowed Alaric with a small grin on her face.

"Do I have parents or..." I asked slowly not really sure what to ask. Jenna's smile instantly dropped and her skin turned pale.

"Our parent died seven years ago Elena." Jeremy frowned, taking my hand in his. I didn't pull away, because it felt right for me to hold his hand.

"How old was I?" I asked wondering.

"You were seventeen." He admitted pressing his lips in a white line.

"How old am I now?" I asked shocked. I was too stricken with the sudden information to even do the math.

"You're twenty-three." He frowned again. I took my other hand over my mouth in fear and shock. I couldn't even say anything.

I don't remember anything. I don't remember _twenty-three _years of my life!" I cried out, shutting my eyes as tears started to form.

Right now, everything was frightening. I didn't know who to trust and not trust. I don't remember the time I was born. It was like I just woke up in a confusing world that brings me pain.

It was weird, i knew how to talk. What words meant, and other things but when I look at people my mind goes completely blank. I hated it. I wanted to know.

Because being this person who doesn't know her own brother is sad.

So, so sad.

"You're going to be okay, Elena. We're here for you." Alaric spoke with a tender voice.

* * *

_October 16th, 2011 _

_Mystic Falls Hospital _

_1:30 A.M _

* * *

After what felt like eternity of smiling, it was one in the morning.

I've grown the Jeremy, Jenna, and Alaric quickly over the short amount of time. I was surprised they didn't seem awkward with me.

I'm their niece/sister who doesn't even know who they are but they still treat me like it was still _me_ I guess.

I still felt like they watched me for some sort of recognition to come put and bring my memories back. They wanted me to recognize them and love them the way I used to.

As much as I wished i could, nothing happened.

But Fell got them to go home with comfort but she informed me my friends will want to see me.

I heard the door creak open, thinking it was one of the nurses I opened my eyes wanting to ask them for some food.

But to my surprise, it was Fell. She walked in with a note in her hand.

"Elena, I was hoping you were still awake." Fell sighed walking up beside me.

"Well, I'm just here moping about the life i've forgotten." I mumbled sarcastically.

"The man that was here when you woke up is your husband. He loves you very much Elena." Fell said.

"I wish I could say the same." I whispered.

"I know Elena."

"You got married to him right after your senior year, you two were so in love." She smiled softly looking down.

"Is Stefan alright?" I asked remembering his name.

"I wouldn't say that. He's pretty worked up about the crash, and misses you."

"I bet." I admitted feeling upset. "I feel bad I can't be the person who they want me to be."

"You lost your memory, they can't blame you for that, Elena." Fell said.

I nodded, "What did you come here to tell me?" I asked.

"Not ask you, just tell you about Stefan." Fell said.

"Do you know why I crashed?" I said wondering.

"Drunk driving and emotional damage mostly."

"Emotional damage?" I asked confused.

"Yes, Matt Donova, one of your good friends said you were upset about something. He doesn't know, you never told him."

"Oh okay." I mumbled.

"I'll leave you to sleep Elena." Fell smiled before leaving.

I didn't necessarily fall asleep after she left. My mind was blown with so many questions on what my life is like, and who was I, I couldn't even think straight.

Jeremy Gilbert was-is my brother, and Jenna is my Aunt, along with Alaric. My uncle to be.

My parents died in a car crash. I didn't know if it was normal to be crying about people you didn't even know.

This feeling the bottom of my heart told me it was okay to cry because they were people I used to know. People i will get to know all over again.

My heart belong to a man I have no memory of. My friends await to tell me how much they love and miss me. I wish i could say the same but I couldn't.

Though there are many down sides, i get to create new memories and fall in love all over again.


	2. Starting over

_Mystic Falls _

_Gilbert Family Home _

_10:00 A.M. _

My mind wasn't even functioning. It was tired and way too worn out from all the crying I've experienced so far.

I still don't remember anything. It sucks, but what suck more is the people who remember you and have to watch as their memories dwindle away.

All I knew is that my former self got married had a ton of friends. It was crazy.

I don't think I was read to go back to that I used to be. I have to start over. I don't want this. I don't want my life to be chosen all over again. Because, hell, even I know my former self would never want to be married at such a young age.

My mind focused back on unpacked things. Jeremy took me 'home'. It seemed familiar and yet it was still like I've never seen it in my life. I don't like being Elena Gilbert so far.

It's October 17, 2011. At least that's what Jeremy told me.

I picked up some bags and headed up the stairs.

My mind left and it felt like I was floating. I dropped the bags where I was and stared at the entryway to what I believe to be my room.

I stepped in and a flash of memory was slipped.

_"Elena, come on! You know you like Stefan! Just admit it!" A young girl who I found out was Caroline Forbes. Her blonde locks swirled every time she laughed. She smiled at me. _

_ "Caroline, shut up. Stefan can't possibly like me." I said with blush already curling on my cheeks. _

_ "You're lying! He talked to you didn't he?" Caroline shrieked. _

_ "He kissed me, Care." I smiled again. _

I wasn't sure if I was really smiling. It seemed fake, unhappy almost.

_"Oh my God! Elena! This is beaut!" Caroline laughed standing up to hug me tight. I pressed my lips in one straight line. _

I know I wasn't happy. That's not what happiness looks like. No way in hell. I know my brain just restarted on my life but I've seen the look on my 'friends' when they saw me. They saw my body Alive and breathing. That was enough for them to be extremely happy.

_"Listen Care, I'll tell you the rest later. Okay?" I smiled again. _

_ "Yeah totally. See you tomorrow!" _

_ I cried once she shut the door. _

I blinked and the flashback left. Nothing really made sense. I didn't know how old I was or why I cried after Caroline left. But it was something serious.

God, I hate not knowing shit.

"'Lena?" Jeremy voice sounded behind me. I smiled, or more likely faked a smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Jenna and I are going to pick up Alaric for dinner later. Is it okay if you want to stay here? Or do you want to come?" He seemed desperate.

I said yes.

We arrived at a small market with Jenna and Alaric. Jeremy and I went looking for some snacks.

"Can I ask you something?" I spoke. Jeremy turned his head slightly towards me.

"Ask away." He answered.

Jeremy was easy to talk to. Maybe it was because he is my brother, but I feel like I could tell him anything. Don't get me wrong; in my opinion there are something's you don't tell your brother. But for the time being I'm willing to say or ask anything.

"Who are my best friends?"

"Caroline, Bonnie, and Meredith." He answered.

"Huh." I mumbled.

I specifically remembered Meredith telling me we weren't that close. Weird.

"What?" Jeremy asked turning to look at me.

"Oh nothing. Meredith was my doctor." I smiled.

He just smiled. And that's all he seemed to do. He didn't look really happy.

And I wondered if he was just upset in the inside. If he just wanted the sister who didn't ask questions about their childhood. He wanted a sister who remembers every detail and moment of his or her lives. But I couldn't do that. I was oblivious to the important memories to the significance of the past friendships.

I felt dumb. I felt worthless. I felt insignificant.

_Mystic Falls _

_Gilbert Family Home_

_8:00 P.M _

I spent the rest of the day going through my old thing in hopes of remembering something of value. But no luck. Just no luck for me.

Jeremy told me that Stefan was coming over along with Caroline and Bonnie and the rest of my 'friends'. They are making a 'Welcome Back' party.

It wasn't really Welcoming me. It was welcoming the old Elena that they wished was there.

They wanted her to be smiling with memories of them and their smiling faces. It sucked because so far the only memories I've attained is my full name and one with me crying.

I wasn't sure if all my memories were going to come back but my prayed they weren't all bad. I hoped they were good an ones that I'd be able to laugh at and tell them about. Then, I be welcomed back. Only then I'd be truly welcomed.

"'Lena here's a dress for you to wear…if you want to of course. Whatever you want." Jenna walked in. I turned taking the dress in my hands. It was a red cocktail.

I nodded and she left.

Once I tried it on I wasn't really sure if it fit right. I have been eating a lot of ice cream and cookies. Shit.

"Jenna!"

"Jenna!" I yelled again.

Just when I brighten up at the sound of footsteps Stefan came running up with his eyes wide.

But with fear of course because when he saw me with the dress lifted up halfway, revealing my bra it was then his eyes widened with lust.

In embarrassment, I quickly shut the door and pulled up the dress and zipped it up with such force I swear I hurt myself in the process.

I opened the door again huffing.

Stefan softly smiled down at me.

"You know I'm your husband?"

"You know I lost all my memories?" I retorted. I saw the hurt when I said that and I regretted it.

"I'm sorry."

"No." He spoke. "You're right. I shouldn't have said that."

He turned around with his head down and left. Something in me told me he was crying.

Crying because he lost the love of his life. Crying because I didn't want him anymore. Crying because I no longer had the memories of us. Crying because _me _was gone.

It was now nine o' clock and Jenna called me down. I waved my hair so it framed my heart shaped face perfectly. I wore matching black heels and just a wave of mascara.

When I came down the stairs everyone genuinely smiled and screamed with joy. Confetti flew in the air as they yelled.

I laughed, it wasn't a fake laugh and neither was the smile on my face.

Caroline and Bonnie came up to me fawning over my dress and hair. I smiled and waved as everyone danced to the beat of the blasting music.

I stood by and watched as everyone happily smiled and danced. I wish I knew them. I really did.

"Hey Elena." A voice spoke.

I turned to my left and there stood Matt Donovan. His blond hair shaped upwards and his crystal blue eyes smiling down at me. I smiled back. I didn't know why.

"Hi Matt."

"Glad to see you remember my name." He laughed.

I did too. He seemed lighthearted about the amnesia, which was good. Everyone else took it like cancer. I can see why Matt was my first love.

When Jeremy, Jenna, and Alaric came to pick me up from the hospital Jeremy told me about my friends. I paid most attention to Matt.

He was my first love in freshman year I believe. We broke up junior year because Stefan came along.

I really liked the way Matt was described. He seemed like my best friend. The kind of best friend who still keeps being my best friend even when I stopped being his.

"Doesn't seem like you're having fun." He said.

"I don't know. I feel like no one really excepts the fact that I'm no longer me."

"sure you are. You're just different."

"Amnesia different."

"You're still Elena. I can still see that little fake smile you pull off so well and that laugh that sounds like you're irritated. I know you. Even if you don't know yourself."

I looked down nodding and smiling at the same time.

"Matt, you just made my mood so much lighter."

"You're welcome. Now go have fun."

Odd enough, I did what he said and ran out to Caroline and Bonnie who smiled and chanted my name as I swayed my hips to the music.

"You're such a party animal!" Caroline gleefully laughed.

Then a memory appeared.

_"You're such a party animal!" Caroline laughed. I nodded my head and ran my hands down my body slowly. Stefan was in the corner of the room with a strained face. _

_ The room was dark with a few lights; the music was pounding in my ear. _

_ Stefan walked over holding me by the waste. I was drunk so I didn't feel anyway. I kept dancing grinding my body against his. His hips went forward and continued to beg for a motion back. _

_ Daringly I pulled his hip closer to me, already feeling the bulged growing in his pants. A small grin appeared on my face as I continued to lean back into his firm torso. I turned around to smile at him. _

I inhaled sharply as I was brought back to reality. This previous Elena was really hard to decipher.

Caroline kept shaking me and Bonnie continued to sway as she danced with Jeremy.

"I gotta go." I whispered exiting out of the crowd. I made it out of the crowd and into my front yard where a porch swing was placed.

I swung back and forth with my feet pulled up to my chest. My heels were on the ground and my dress was pulled up to my mid thigh.

That memory didn't give me chills. It made me shudder. I didn't know why. It was hard to describe. It didn't feel right. What Stefan and I had. It felt wrong.

A painful feeling was striking in my side. I started to cringe at the pain and close my eyes.

I started to strongly cough. I covered my mouth with my palm, but when I looked at it blood was spattered over it. A urge to vomit came over me and I continued to vomit. And vomit. And vomit.

"Jeremy! Jenna! Alaric! Help me!" I yelled from the porch having my head down low as I vomited more blood.

"Elena!" Stefan came running out looking down at the horror before kneeling down beside me. He yelled some more as I continued to yell in pain and vomit. Blood was splattered all over my chest and dress.

The music stopped and everyone was quiet. I heard Caroline come out and call 9-1-1. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was scared.

"Stefan…help me." I called out unexpectedly. His eyes were sad and rubbed my back.

I blacked out.

_Mystic Falls Hospital _

_10:00 P.M. _

"Her organs were internally bleeding. She was drowning in her own blood. I have no idea how we didn't see it before. I'm so sorry Jeremy."

"It's fine Meredith. She's fine now. That's all that matters."

"She should have died but her body rejected the amount of blood in her system. She vomited it all up."

"It crazy you know."

"What?"

"She doesn't know me or trust me. All she knows is that she woke up and appeared injured. It's weird."

"I know it's hard for you Jeremy."

"Its not hard. It's devastating."

"Jeremy…"

"She was the only one I loved. She understood me and cared for me. We have memories I never thought we could forget. They're all gone. It's not the same.

"What do you mean?

"She's different. I know you can tell.

"Jeremy you have to understand what she's going through."

"No! I lost my parents and now I lost her. I'm never getting Elena back."

"She could get her memories."

"'Could' is the key word."

"Jeremy please, she's just as confused as you."

I continued to listen to the conversation, I didn't know if I was supposed to me heartbroken but I felt like it. They didn't want me. I knew it all along.

I shook lightly and that brought their attention. I opened my eyes with a yawning smile.

I sat up in my bed as Meredith rushed over to me and Jeremy stood where he was…watching.

Meredith checked my IV and flipped over her clipboard.

"Your organs were fractured somehow an you were internally bleeding. I have no idea how we got past it in the CAT scan."

"No problem. I'm okay now." I answered faking smiling again.

I felt bad for Jeremy so I tried my best to sound and act like the Elena that they know.

"I'm supposed to ask some questions on what you felt these past few days." Meredith looked at me for assurance.

I felt depressed, insignificant, useless, dumb, idiotic and a lot worse.

"I felt depressed, insignificant, useless, dumb, idiotic, and a lot worse." I spoke.

Jeremy's eyes widened. Not with sadness, or recognition but with anger. He lost Elena. I could tell. I was no longer the old Elena Gilbert who was marries to Stefan Salvatore and cried when doors closed, or pretended to be happy. My guess was that Elena hasn't been holding on to well after all.

"I need to go. I'll pick you up later Elena." Jeremy spoke before rushing out the door slamming the door closed.

Meredith continued staring at me with an emotion I didn't really recognize.

"Okay, any physical feelings?"

I was going to tell her about my flashbacks but I remembered about the one with Stefan.

"Just dizziness, and nothing else really."

She hummed and nodded and she left.

Jeremy later picked me up. And we drove home in silent. When I got home all my friends were by the couch waiting for me.

"Elena, we all need to talk." Jenna whispered to me.

I took a seat by a armchair that was faced towards them.

Caroline, Bonnie, Tyler, Jenna, Alaric, Jeremy, Matt, and Stefan. They all sat together as a family watching me…the outsider who didn't belong.

Caroline laughed sarcastically as she blurted out, "God, Elena all we want to say is that you're acting really different lately."

I was hurt. And taken aback as well. I couldn't believe they all came together to tell me how much I changed. I mean, no kidding, I lost my damn memory.

How could they say that?

How dare they!

"Caroline." Stefan warned her. She shut her mouth and sat back as Tyler rubbed her shoulder.

"What we are trying to say is you're acting well…different. We know that you lost your memory but Dr. Fell said that you were going to act the same."

"How am I supposed to act?" I retorted getting angrier by the second.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do." Stefan answered with pulled lips.

Caroline popped up again.

"You're kind, cheery, bubbly, and you don't get drunk every damn night." Caroline whined.

God, she's annoying as hell.

"Listen, Caroline. I don't care if you think drinking every night is the solution but being the victim here I don't care. I just want it to all go away."

"What do you want to go away Elena?" Caroline taunted.

I could tell she was mad at me too. But she had no right to be…but then again I'm that one person who loves her. At least used to.

"All of you." I blurted out.

They all froze.

Caroline stood up ready to burst.

"Goddammit Elena! Why can't you remember? We love you? Why can't you just be normal? Why do you act like this?"

"Act like what?" I screamed, is stood up getting nose to nose with her. "Why do I act depressing, blunt, unkind?"

"Elena!" Caroline screamed in my face. "Remember us!"

"You can't force me Caroline."

"If I try hard enough I'll get my best friend back." She mumbled already crying.

I looked down, my chest was heaving and my knuckles were white.

"You all want me to be Elena." I breathed. "She's gone. She was erased back in the crash."

"I had flashbacks. They weren't exactly good or brought any memory into my mind. But I assure you the old Elena Gilbert was unhappy, she was faking laughs and smiles all the time and none of you noticed. None. Of. You."

I stepped closer to them and ran a hand through my hair.

"You all just assumed she was fine. She was happy, she was definitely unhappy. And for being her best friends an family members you do a sucky job at caring."

"You are not my sister!" Jeremy screamed out.

I had enough. I didn't want to be with them. I wanted acceptance. I wanted a new start.

I looked down and noticed the shiny ring on my finger. Obviously my wedding ring.

I stripped it off my finger and handed it to Stefan.

"You're right. I'm not."

I took the keys to the black SUV and drove as far away as I possibly could. I stopped by a near by motel. I parked in one of the spaces. I couldn't help but cry. And cry. And cry.

My drive was long and I thought a lot on the way to nowhere. I felt attracted to Georgia for some odd reason my 'instincts' said to go there.

Weird, I know.

I ended up by a small bar on the countryside. The music was loud and I could smell the beer and bourbon from far. My mind with ecstatic for bourbon. I loved drinking it, and it made me forget all the things I had to live up to.

I entered the bar my mind already dancing to the music in the room.

The bell at the top of the door rang once I entered and the room was dark. No one payed attention to anyone but himself or herself, which is exactly what, I want.

I don't want anyone to notice me, and I'm pretty sure I went far enough so that no one knows whom I am.

I sat by a raven-haired man, whose head hung low on the counter. I ordered the bottle of bourbon. No one bothered for ID. I was fine by it.

I didn't know how much time passed by the bar but I was already on my third bottle. I'm pretty sure I am intoxicated.

I looked beside of me, noticing the raven-haired man still had his head hung low until he spoke, "It's not polite to stare Miss."

He lifted up his head, revealing his gorgeous facial features. His jaw line was impeccable and blue ice eyes stared straight through my brown does. His handsome features struck me from my drunken state.

"Sorry…" I mumbled as I continued to stare at him.

He did a gorgeous half smile at me. I smiled back.

"Damon Salvatore." He grinned sticking his hand to me. I took his and gave a firm shake. He shifted forward towards the bar tender and ordered another bourbon.

Oh my god. Please don't tell me this is Stefan's brother. Goddammit. He's so goddamn beautiful.

My mind wasn't really questioning what was going to happen to me in the next few hours and I liked it. Damon was beautiful and spending hours just looking at him couldn't possibly get any more tiring.

"Elena Gilbert." I answered taking another swig of my bourbon. He half smiled again and eyed me up and down. I blushed.

Don't be an idiot Elena.

For a second I swear I could fall in love with him. But he was my 'husband'/ not really husband's brother.

But then I didn't care, because I was away from them. Away from Mystic Falls. And I don't ever have to go back. Not unless I want to. And I that moment no way in hell I was going back.

I'm starting over again.

New memories. New loves. New fascinations.

A real _Elena. _Who is _me._

_I can start over. _


	3. You should be happy

_Georgia _

_12:00 A.M._

_Exact Location Unknown _

* * *

I was already on my sixth or seventh bottle, I wasn't sure. But my heart was racing and I was laughing at the rush feeling in my veins. Damon sat beside me, grinning in awe as I competed with other bar members in a drinking competition. My mind was swirling as I took another shot and another drinker fell to the ground unconscious I gleefully laughed and shook my hips.

Damon looked up at me as I stood on the counter, twirling my hair and moving my hips, getting whistles from men afar. I didn't think I'd ever feel this good in my life. Well, I probably did, but I don't remember.

The entire time at the bar, I haven't thought of Stefan or anyone. I just drank until all my thoughts went away, but whenever I looked at Damon's grinning face, I was struck from my drunken state only to fall in love with his gorgeous face.

As the waiters shooed me off the counter Damon clapped his hands with a smolder on his lips. I grinned while looking down as I took a seat next to him.

"Great performance Princess." His words struck me with familarity I didn't seem understand. I was waiting for a flashback to appear but nothing appeared. I just smiled with this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Do you need a bib?" I smirked. As I remembered he was the fifth one to lose. He raisedhis eyebrows playfully. He laughed as I pouted my lip at him.

"I'm sorry I can't unhinge my jaw like a snake."

I laughed looking down pushing my hair away from my face. Damon was so much fun to be around, his presence and looks just enticed me so much. It was terribly hard not to smile and laugh when he did.

He didn't seem to judge me, which was something I've wanted ever since I awoke on the hospital bed that dreadful day. He was a stranger and though most people don't talk to other people they don't know I felt like I knew Damon.

From the time I've spent with Damon at the bar, we talked for endless hours, I was feeling a bit guilty when he started talking about Stefan. I knew that I shouldn't even be feeling guilty because Stefan expected me to act like it was all normal, like i wasn't a broken toy he didn't want anymore.

I told him about me too, but not about this my life that I woke up to. Just the things that I knew already. Like, how much I love animals and wished I could have a cat in my house one day. Like, how much I loved trying new foods and doing new things. And how I want to travel someplace different one day.

It didn't make sense because if I did already know him, he would know me as well. It was obvious he didn't know me.

I didn't care, because if I did know Damon, I was willing to know him all over again.

Just everything about Damon was worth knowing. Oh his grace, oh his body, oh his face just made me want to party. He made everyone want to party and let loose. Damon seemed perfect as I endlessly stared into his eyes and he stared back at me with a smile playing on his lips.

Just when I wanted to look up at his baby blue eyes, my phone rang. I looked down, pulling out my cellphone that was handed to me when i left the hospital that day. Damon pulled his lips in a line, I could tell he felt uncomfortable.

"I'll let you take that." He said, turning his body towards the bar tender and slumping his head on the counter. I looked down at my phone, seeing Stefan's number.

I stood up, walking outside the bar to answer the stupid phone call.

"What do you want Stefan?" I spoke, already regretting answering the call.

_Oh my god Elena._

"What?" I forced myself to continue to answer him. Though, I doubted he actually wanted to call me.

_Where the hell are you?_ His voice was stern and demanding.

"Why would i tell you huh?" I smiled sarcastically, feeling tempted to start yelling at him.

_Because I'm your husband. _

"No you're not."His response was irking me in ways I can't even describe, even after all this time and me throwing the wedding rung at hum, it still didn't get through his thick skull.

_Now is not the time to fight Elena._

"No! you don't tell me what to do Stefan." My voice heightened, i already felt the anger rising in me. Something I've felt so many times ever since I've awoke.

_Elena, listen to me! _

"No, I don't take shit from you anymore Stefan. It's my life and mouth, I can do and say what I want." Stefan's breath of frustration could be heard through the other end.

_Elena please, I'm not mad. I forgive you. _

"You forgive me?! I should be forgiving you. You expect me to be fine, like nothing happened. All I see in your eyes when you look at me is you looking at me like a broken toy. Don't you dare deny it." I knew what I've been thinking in my end was going to be spoken but it pained me to say it through the phone.

_Elena, I love you. _

"Do you Stefan?" I questioned him, I've been dying to ask him because it didn't seem like he did.

_Right from the start you were a thief you stole my heart._

"Stefan, I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty. I know that I haven't been the best guest and all..."

_You've been talking in your sleep, things you never say to me Elena. Why don't you tell me? I know that you don't trust me but I trust you to tell me if you remember anything, right? _I cringed at how he almost knew of my flashbacks.

"We're broken, Stefan. but you knew that already." I could tell just by those simple flash backs that nothing seemed to be alright.

_We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again. _

"We're collecting dust Stefan. I'm sorry for saying this but I don't think we ever loved each other in that way."

_I'll fix it for us. Just trust me, we loved each other Elena._

"I should be happy Stefan. And I'm not right now."

No answer, and that's when I started to cry.

_I love you elena. You love me too._

"I don't love you Stefan. the old Elena wasn't sure she loved you that way either."

_Elena please. _

"I'm so sorry, Stefan."

Then, I hung up because I couldn't take the pain anymore. Hearing Stefan's voice shaking just because of how afraid he was of losing me. I wondered how it felt. Because this horrible feeling in my stomach and chest felt horrible. And i guessed his is what it felt like.

I didn't want him to find me, so I took my phone and threw it to the ground, and with all the force i had i stepped on it and watched as the screen went black.

I turned around heading back for the bar with tears streaming when I looked up and saw Damon's sad face look at me.

"So, it is true. You don't remember."

* * *

**A/N: SUPER SHORT CHAPTER I KNOW! But I wanted to leave a cliffhanger. I've been so busy with school work, but now that it's done for I can write a bunch of chapters over the summer! I loved writing so much, I've missed writing these chapters. So yeah, you can look forward to about a new chapter every week, or two weeks, depending what I'm doing at the time :)**


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